Table of Contents

Preboarding Announcement

Chapter 1 On the Ground
Chapter 2 At the Airport
Chapter 3 At the Gate
Chapter 4 Now What the Hell Do I Do?
Chapter 5 In the Air . . . Finally!

  Hug Me Emergency Supplement: How to Survive a Sudoku Attack

Chapter 6 Still in the Air . . .
Chapter 7 Pilots, Guns, & Money . . . Fun with Flying
Chapter 8 Ain’t No Thang . . . Flying Without Fear
Chapter 9 In the Event of a Water Landing
Chapter 10 Solutions for a Happier Planet
Chapter 11 Please Hug Me Awards: The World’s Craziest Stories
About Flying Machines and Blue Poop
Chapter 12 Quiz Time!
Home at Last: The Miracle of US Air Flight 1549
Author’s Note
Appendix 1: Tear-out Forms for Surviving Overnight Airport Delays
Appendix 2: Companies That Now Owe Me a Free T-shirt
Appendix 3: Celebrities Mentioned in This Book